Chasing Women is a Fruitless Endeavor

Imagine once again, as I am sure you’ve done before, that you have the power to bed every woman you find attractive. Let’s say you had looks and charisma women couldn’t resist. Let’s assume you could have sex with a million of them. If you’d had sex with a million women, do you know what you would want? Sex with a million and one.

You will always want one more. That is human nature. Without making an effort to curb and direct our appetites, we are doomed to pursue just a little bit more of whatever pleasure compels us. If we devote ourselves to this way of life, the result is never more than passing pleasure that produces nothing for the long term.

No matter how good your game, no matter how much you lead your interactions with women straight down the hallway to the bedroom, you can’t stop time. What seems distant will eventually be now. Even super-Alphas grow old. No matter how killer your approach at 30, you’ll one day be 80 and tired.

Then, you’ll be dead.

Every super-Alpha, Beta chump, and Omega incel is headed to the same end: the grave. No matter how effective you are with women, in the end every man is equally dead.

We mostly repress this fact. Few live with the end in mind. Even fewer have soberly taken stock of their mortality. When you do, you see that chasing women is a fruitless game. Pursuing a life of one more sexual encounter, one more hour of pleasure, leaves no legacy.

Consider a different path. Think about the man who settles down, who forsakes all others for a single woman, his wife. He limits all his options, not just the sexual ones. But, in the ideal situation, the trade-off is that by limiting his options, he stands still long enough to put down roots. Those roots eventually support the fruit of a disciplined life.

This is the ideal situation, of course. Happy families don’t just happen. They certainly don’t just happen for everyone. Divorce occurs too frequently and when it does, men tend to be treated unjustly by the system. We live in a time when plotting a course to leave a legacy of children, home and family is risky.

But, men do risky things.

Besides, abandoning the pursuit of a fruitful life for one of commitment-free sensuality is also risky, and less likely to produce long-term returns. The life devoted to chasing new women entails the risk of never fully growing up, of never reaching full maturity, of never knowing and sustaining a family.

See, when a man limits his options, the limiting he submits to is not exactly the same kind of limit a cell imposes on a prisoner. It is more like the way focusing a broad, diffuse beam of light concentrates the light in a single spot. The kind of limits a life of family entails focus a man’s energies. Through this process of focusing, he ensures his energy isn’t dissipated like a weak bulb throwing a dim, unfocused light in a million directions.

Choosing a life of investment in one woman, in loving children, in building a lasting legacy ultimately alleviates our anxiety about the meaning and worth of our lives. When we wake consistently alongside the same person, when we shepherd together mutual children into responsible adulthood, when we share the rewards our labor has won us, we know we have done the work appointed for us. Our inner dissatisfactions are eased and we come to accept our mortality with greater equanimity.

A life of pursuing one more sexual experience offers none of these deeper rewards. Those who choose this path face a bleaker future. As their power to pull attractive lovers wanes, so will their ability to distract their minds from searing inner emptiness. As the grave looms larger for them, the panic grows until they give up in despair. The despair becomes visible to others as bitterness.

In the end, even if the idea of forsaking all others for a wife feels like death, it is a path toward life; a life that blooms both internally in the form of satisfaction and peace and externally in the form of children and projects reared to leave a legacy.

While bedding new women constantly feels like life, it is a road to fruitlessness, emptiness and death. When there is no lengthy relationship filled with common memories, no mutually achieved goals, no children shared and raised, there is only personal pleasure which vanishes in a moment as we approach our end.

Death, they say, is the great equalizer. If your status, your sense of your value depends on how many women are attracted to you, how many end up in your bed, it will mean nothing when you lie in that bed to die. Better to endure the temporary discomfort of forsaking all others for a lifetime of commitment and productivity, so that on that final day, when death comes for you, it will not find you alone.

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One response

  1. Yes, yes and yes!! Living a hedonistic lifestyle is ultimately fruitless and unfulfilling. In a wife and children I’ve found a purpose and peace that I never had before as an adult.

    It’s refreshing to read this online. So much ‘self improvement’ is ME ME ME. Instead, thinking how we can give to others is the purest and most fulfilling use of our time.

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