Reports from the field tell me it’s bad out there.
I hear from men who all want to find a decent woman. They want to marry. They want kids and a house to raise them in. They want to devote themselves to serving as a loving father and husband. They are committed, prepared, and ready to dive in.
Unfortunately, they’ve got everything but the girl.
The women they know are unsuitable, having been corrupted by materialism, feminism and a culture teaching that life is either a sexual free-for-all or nothing. They’ve tried making connections, but things never work out.
Everything I see tells me they’re right. Mainstream American culture is increasingly hostile to people seeking to live out any semblance of traditional home and family life. I understand why these guys would be tempted to give up.
Nevertheless, surrender would be the wrong move. When traditional home and family patterns have been upended; when the traditional markers of maturity are actively discouraged; when the virtues and values that make stable family life possible are vilified, that is not the time to give in, but to dig in. Now is the time to commit ever more firmly.
There are many things a man in search of decent woman may do. He can look for a wife in places where the remaining acceptable candidates might hang out. He can look for them at church or in other religious institutions. He can look for women who volunteer for causes the left considers questionable at best. I bet, for example, there are some honorable single women volunteering right now at crisis pregnancy centers around the world. He can look in groups devoted to conservative politics. That’s a mixed bag, I admit, but it might be worth it.
Basically, he will have to look in the nooks and crannies of our society that are truly considered uncool. Somewhere, maybe in a knitting group, or in some rural hideaway there is a woman who is trying to resist this vicious cultural onslaught. She is waiting for a good man.
Actively and strategically looking for her is important. But, it is not as important as the one thing a man in search of a decent woman in indecent times must do:
The number one thing you can do to find a traditional woman is to be a traditional man. Let it be known that you are different. When you meet a woman, let her know what your standards are, set the standards for her. She can stay or leave as wants. But, if she leaves you, let her leave because you demanded something more than she has been taught to offer, not because you whined and supplicated and begged for her love.
Remember that women are lost too. You can have some compassion without compromising your values. If you want a traditional home and family, you must always be leading others toward that end. When you meet a woman who has been taught all the lies our culture propounds, whether you date her or not, your response should always be to point at the horizon and say to her, “This, this is the way home.”
A woman willing to follow you there is worth further consideration.
In order to lead this way, you will need to get two things right in your soul. First, you must be free of an inordinate desire for her approval. When you set out to lead these women, many won’t follow.
She may be look good. She may smile and tilt her head and laugh. She may seem to offer a balm for all your loneliness if only you will forget your destination and let her lead you down where she dwells. Don’t do it. Only by being willing to live without a home and family can you increase your chances of founding one.
You will only be able to do this if you are committed to your mission. You must be an example of maturity to those around you. You have to seek to improve yourself and to find, in that endeavor, your primary satisfaction. If you are going to lead a woman into rejecting the lies of our corrupt age, you will have to be able to demonstrate that you offer her more value than the pop culture vision of the good life. The culture has a gravitational pull; if you find a woman you want in your orbit, you must have gravity of your own.
The world is a dark place. No one wants to deny that women, or men for that matter, bear moral responsibility for their choices. And yet, the confusion, despair and deception people live with now creates a context in which up seems down, wrong seems right and love seems oppressive. Your job is to shine what light you have and let the women who might make decent wives be drawn to it. It is time now to begin. The future of your family and all civilization depends upon it.
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