I am remembering this morning an incident that I now see led to my total distrust of all systems of authority, especially of the public school system. Memories like this make me want to see the system destroyed.
In my 8th grade health class, we didn’t have individual desks. Students shared these trapezoidal tables, two students to a place. I shared my table with a popular cheerleader. I was a shy, smart, nervous kid from a working class family, definitely lower status than my tablemate. Despite whatever the people in charge of the system say, anyone who has been through it knows that the real rule, the unwritten rule, is that high status kids are allowed to hurt lower status kids with impunity.
One day, Mr. Duff gave the class a quiz. My cheerleading tablemate apparently was not doing well because she said “Let me see your answers!”
I knew cheating was wrong. My conscience knew, and I had been told this by adults, including the adults who ran the school where I was now being pressured by one of its favored daughters.
I told her no.
The next day before school, I was in the library looking at books. Cheerleader X and a crew of her popular kid friends surrounded me and said “You wouldn’t let Cheerleader X look at your answers!” They spent several minutes ridiculing and verbally abusing me. I remember being called a f*ggot about a million times. My body can still recall the terrified feeling. Eventually, I was able to push through a gap in the circle and walk away.
This is just one incident of the relentless abuse I endured in school. As time went on, I watched as Cheerleader X and her friends were celebrated by the system, as they received every plaudit the school could offer: praise for their athletic achievements, favor with teachers, special privileges. We would literally have school rallies where we were all supposed to stand and cheer for these people.
What this taught me was the the system is built by and for liars. I was the kid who followed the rules the system laid down and I was the one punished. Those who broke the rules and encouraged others to do so were promoted. I was young, but I wasn’t dumb. I could see the foundation of the whole enterprise was hypocrisy, superficiality and stupidity.
One the eve of my 52nd birthday, I am still coping with the effects of what I endured. Coming up in that atmosphere contributed to long years struggling with depression and anxiety. The effects of that abuse have held me back in many ways and led to struggles long after the cap and gown have rotted away.
I cannot believe that things aren’t even worse for kids today. The system continues to produce traumatized kids because traumatized kids is what it is designed to produce. There is no reforming it because the foundation is corrupt. The best that can be done is to knock it down and put up a memorial to its victims
I agree, but my lessons were more extreme. I'm American but my father got a Guggenheim grant to do research around Europe in 1963/1964. In 2nd grade of elementary school in the Cambridge I was forced to fight every day, usually against gangs. Why? The teachers at all grade levels (for some odd reason) were teaching about the American Revolutionary War, and meticulously went through every battle: "And then the dirty Yankee dogs shot down the good British lads..." and so on. I couldn't count the number of times my head was bounced off the cement. I was beaten unconscious by a gang coming home from school one day. I was seven years old. Almost always someone would hit me in the head from behind first, while I was distracted by some fiend in front of me. Returning to the US wasn't much better. Schools encourage gang formation and teach them how to be bullies - which is not surprising at least in the US, and UK, for the US and UK are the biggest bullies on this planet. Even today, so many years later in a developing "democratic" country, I have to deal with sadistic American, British, and Australian bully teachers who derive unlimited pleasure from mental torture, telling lies, and all manner of sabotage, trickery and deceit. Fortunately, I was given notice yesterday; I'll be unemployed in three weeks, and I was happy, even though I have almost no money. Se est la vie. Don't even get me started on how my four years of Graduate School were stolen by racist maniac professors in the department, leaving me with a student loan I could not pay. Academia is a criminal enterprise where bullies rule.
Thank you for your compassionate response. Tragically there are billions who suffer more on a daily basis. I'm hoping the updated version of my current article: "Slavery and the CIA’s Never-Ending MK-ULTRA Project" I hope to post/publish in the next day or two will make a difference. The current censorship regime is really over-the-top given SCOTUS decisions forbidding such activities. Live Well Mr. Abbot - appreciate every breath.