I don't understand why it's a problem if 85% of women find repair skills attractive. I don't belive that it's a requirement to all of them, it's rather in the wishlist of "nice to have". The notion of a Handy man probably makes women think of strength (man with a hammer) , intelligence (repairing is hard, thanks to the laws of thermodynamics), virtue (repairing is better than destroying)
While cars and electronics have become more complicated, with less parts the average person can fix themselves beyond maintenance, there's still the broken jewelry, keepsakes, etc. There is an art to repairing and restoring that has generated many a tiktok/YouTube short. What I really find to be actually difficult is repairing and restoring relationships. Very few men have ever been taught that, let alone the plain maintenance of them. It's easier to use Krazy glue than to "fix" complex human relationships. Society seems to have the same attitude of tossing relationships just as easily as an old TV.
So good to happen upon your writing again, Dean. This problem of both men and machine has been haunting me for so long. I am most definitely one of those women who is attracted to men who build and fix. And, as you know, I live and work amidst The Ruins of our American manufacturing story. The deaths of despair of the men who have been sidelined so effectively by culture make me feel hopeless too. These little essays on the topic are so important. Thank you.
As a woman who enjoys fixing things and who comes from a long line of men who have kept things running (and is married to one, and hopes my son will grow up learning the same skills and values), I love a lot of the points you make here.
But I do think that some of the same emphasis that's put on the fact that these are useful, valuable skills for someone to learn in any age of society should be put on the aspect that some "fixing things" and keeping them running looks different than it did (The same way my dad or grandpa fixing a car looked different from my great great grandfather fixing a cart or wagon).
Learning computer programming and troubleshooting now can be as relevant to keeping things running as changing spark plugs was when my dad taught me. And while I will fully admit that it's not as satisfying a task as sitting back on the porch after a day of physical work, most of us enjoy many of the benefits that modern society provides (or we wouldn't be running into each other on the internet), even if we don't want the things we value to get lost in the process, and have to admit that some of the things that come along with it are problems needing a solution.
Having people to keep these things running is important as well. And while I fully agree with what seems to be your underlying point that modern society seems to try to take away the opportunities for developing and practicing those skills (and theres a huge problem there), I do think there's room for flexibility in learning new ways to apply the same concepts, work ethic, and resourcefulness to new areas of knowledge or technology.
I don't understand why it's a problem if 85% of women find repair skills attractive. I don't belive that it's a requirement to all of them, it's rather in the wishlist of "nice to have". The notion of a Handy man probably makes women think of strength (man with a hammer) , intelligence (repairing is hard, thanks to the laws of thermodynamics), virtue (repairing is better than destroying)
The problem isn’t that women find those skills attractive.
The problem is that men are now discouraged learning them.
While cars and electronics have become more complicated, with less parts the average person can fix themselves beyond maintenance, there's still the broken jewelry, keepsakes, etc. There is an art to repairing and restoring that has generated many a tiktok/YouTube short. What I really find to be actually difficult is repairing and restoring relationships. Very few men have ever been taught that, let alone the plain maintenance of them. It's easier to use Krazy glue than to "fix" complex human relationships. Society seems to have the same attitude of tossing relationships just as easily as an old TV.
So good to happen upon your writing again, Dean. This problem of both men and machine has been haunting me for so long. I am most definitely one of those women who is attracted to men who build and fix. And, as you know, I live and work amidst The Ruins of our American manufacturing story. The deaths of despair of the men who have been sidelined so effectively by culture make me feel hopeless too. These little essays on the topic are so important. Thank you.
Hi Rachel,
I’ve wondered about you over the past few months. Hope you’re doing well.
Thank you very much.
As a woman who enjoys fixing things and who comes from a long line of men who have kept things running (and is married to one, and hopes my son will grow up learning the same skills and values), I love a lot of the points you make here.
But I do think that some of the same emphasis that's put on the fact that these are useful, valuable skills for someone to learn in any age of society should be put on the aspect that some "fixing things" and keeping them running looks different than it did (The same way my dad or grandpa fixing a car looked different from my great great grandfather fixing a cart or wagon).
Learning computer programming and troubleshooting now can be as relevant to keeping things running as changing spark plugs was when my dad taught me. And while I will fully admit that it's not as satisfying a task as sitting back on the porch after a day of physical work, most of us enjoy many of the benefits that modern society provides (or we wouldn't be running into each other on the internet), even if we don't want the things we value to get lost in the process, and have to admit that some of the things that come along with it are problems needing a solution.
Having people to keep these things running is important as well. And while I fully agree with what seems to be your underlying point that modern society seems to try to take away the opportunities for developing and practicing those skills (and theres a huge problem there), I do think there's room for flexibility in learning new ways to apply the same concepts, work ethic, and resourcefulness to new areas of knowledge or technology.
Thanks so much for your thoughts!